Ministry of Silly Journalism

Just returned from the mountains - taking a break from the rush of the city, and it turns out that I am glad that we did so. From news of gunfire in Achrafieh to pro-Syrian protests in Chtoura in the Bekaa (seen on LBC and Future), it looks like we picked a good weekend to lay low and battle the rolling electricity blackouts in the village instead. And who would deny that pro-Syrian protests can be a very entertaining spectacle? Saturday's spontaneous proceedings in Chtoura, for example, came complete with numerous posters of both Hafez and Bashar al-As'ad, as if residents had been storing them for safe-keeping all this time. Chtoura is normally famous for its freshly-made labneh, but it appears that faces of the As'ad dynasty were the hot commodity last night instead. Or, for those more inclined to speculate, the signs and flags were probably donated charitably along with other gadgets and toys by some concerned parties with a presence in the area.

There's more. According to a local source, Friday evening an unidentified individual reportedly threw a grenade into a Syrian army forward operating base in the Bekaa valley. In fairness to those who like to question the veracity of sources (and I agree it is our responsibility as unpaid pseudo-journalists to do so when the spirit moves us), it was not the Kuwaiti daily Al-Siyassa (or Al-Siyasiya or As-Siyasiya or whatever transliteration floats everyone's boat nowadays), nor was it Al-Nahar, nor was it even the guy who provides us with fresh fruits and veggies (although he's from the Bekaa, indeed). In fact - and to quote the great philosopher Dave Barry, I am not not making this up - the information comes directly from a friend of my wife's family who works as a plainclothesman for the interior ministry. Our friend - we'll refer to as him Frank Poncherello both to protect his identity and lend an aura of American-style drama to the story - had his radio on, as he expected to get called back to work. As it turned out, we heard the report as it passed over the airways; so that's how we learned of the event. Wait - that means that our friend did not even tell us; he just inadvertently let the information drift uninhibitedly into our living room. Now how's that for hot gossip? If anyone heard about this via any news source, please let me know.

The reason I mention this anecdote is that it has occurred to me recently of the possibility (however slight) of an insurgency mounting against Syrian forces in Lebanon. Right now there seems to be a lot of passion and fury directed at Syrian troops, even as they sit at comfortable distances from heavily populated areas. Add to this the loads of recent rhetoric dished out by Walid Jumblatt, cut it with some of the arms possessed by his loyal followers and maybe a bit of agitation and support from abroad, and there you have it - a recipe for the beginnings of an insurgency. However - and this is where it gets really sticky - my analysis is based on nothing more than common sense coupled with local expectations and fears. The only insurgency that I really do see happening here is the one currently ongoing in Martyrs' Square in downtown Beirut - and that one is as peaceful as much as it has been outright illegal under Lebanese law. There is supposed to be a moral to this story - something about moral high ground and doing the right thing and the supremacy of non-violent resistance and all that - but I have not approached this post armed with sufficient details and I'm about out of energy. Especially when there are so many dimensions to this story now - As'ad's speech, Nasrallah's comments, and Jumblatt's crypto-capitulation while engaging in a regional round-tripper - that one needs an army of readers and writers just to keep up. I promise I will have more interesting remarks in the coming days; in the meantime, check out Tony's remarks at Across the Bay. He has been doing much more than grading papers lately, that's for certain.